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What Drives Me - Aditi
What drives you? What motivates you to do anything?
Is it the desire to be known for something? Or is it about making your mark? Or is it getting to a certain bank balance? Or is it how your loved ones see you?
Or is it something else?
Born in a middle class family, for most part of my life I was driven by the expectations of my family and teachers - people who I admired the most. As I met their expectations, I got a lot of appreciation in return. Those appreciations were so strong that most of my decisions were based on the likelihood of getting a validation or criticism from my folks.
As I moved away for higher studies, job and got a better world view, I realized that those appreciations were mere tools to get me (or any other kid) to do the things that he or she may not do otherwise. I also got more clarity on which of those things did I really enjoy intrinsically(like mastering a skill) and which of those I did not really enjoy but did to get external validation(like studying for better grades).
With age, I have learned to move away from the circle of expectation from family and build my own set of rules to live by. There are still some basic expectation that I adhere to but those do not drive me anymore.
As life happened, I have seen my share of good and bad outcomes of various decisions of mine. I could see what perceptions of mine led me to those decisions and what could I have done differently to reach a better outcome.
What drives me now is this constant pursuit of being a better version of myself. I intend to put my best foot forward and act according to the best of my abilities and knowledge. I often look back at my previous work and think about how I could have done that better. That helps me understand what do I need to do differently today to make that happen.
This drive is further fueled by my desire to be an example for my five year old son. I strive to improve so that I can be a better example for him. I do not intend to hide my flaws or misgivings. Infact I want him to see me for who I am and my process of self improvement and learning, so that he can learn, how to learn.