👻 Feedback Loop from Hell
+ 10 tips to overcome it | Wisdom Letter #252
The Painter's Paralysis
Maya had always dreamed of becoming a painter. One day, she finally gathered the courage to start her first canvas. As she picked up the brush, a tiny voice in her head whispered, "What if it's not good enough?"
Maya hesitated, then thought, "Now I'm nervous about painting. I shouldn't be nervous. Real artists don't get nervous." This made her even more anxious.
"Look how anxious you are," the voice continued.
"You're too anxious to be a real artist."
Maya's hand began to shake. "I'm shaking now. This painting will be a disaster," she fretted.
"See? You're a mess. You should give up," the voice insisted.
Overwhelmed, Maya put down her brush without making a single stroke.
She felt miserable about feeling anxious, then angry at herself for feeling miserable, then hopeless about feeling angry—each emotion feeding into and amplifying the next.
Maya had fallen into the Feedback Loop from Hell, where each negative thought and emotion became fuel for the next, creating a paralysing cycle that prevented her from even starting her artistic journey.
This is the Feedback Loop from Hell—a vicious cycle where we not only experience negative emotions but then judge ourselves for having those emotions, amplifying our distress and trapping us in an endless loop of negativity.
Escaping the Feedback Loop from Hell: Practical Tips
10 quit tips to escape the feedback loop from hell -
Recognize the Loop:
Pause and acknowledge when you're judging yourself for having emotions.
Say to yourself, "I'm in a feedback loop right now."
Practice Acceptance:
Allow your initial feelings without judgment.
Remind yourself, "It's okay to feel this way."
Use Mindfulness Techniques:
Focus on your breath for a few minutes.
Observe your thoughts without engaging them.
Challenge Your Thoughts:
Ask, "Is this thought helpful?" or "Is there another way to look at this?"
Look for evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts.
Break the Pattern Physically:
Change your environment - go for a walk or step outside.
Engage in brief exercise to shift your focus and energy.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Speak to yourself as you would to a good friend.
Use gentle, understanding language with yourself.
Use Grounding Techniques:
Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.
Seek External Perspective:
Talk to a trusted friend or family member.
Consider professional help if the loop feels unbreakable.
Journal Your Thoughts:
Write down your thoughts to externalise and examine them objectively.
Set a Worry Time:
Allocate a specific time to address your worries, then try to postpone anxious thoughts until then.
Further Reading
I first learned about this idea from Mark Manson in his book - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.
Do read that book, or read my summary of it here.
Watch this quick video from Manson -
From the Archives
3 interesting posts from The Wisdom Project archives -
Wise Links
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Last week’s most clicked link -
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Thank you for reading 🙏
That’s it for today.
See you next week 👋
We’ll be back with more interesting notes, highlights and curations.
Cheers,
Ayush & Aditi